Chapter 20

I managed to get some medicine called co-danthramer as suggested by my GP friend. It’s totally wonderful stuff, but probably not if you need to use the bathroom after me… We had little man with us for Father’s Day; he gave his Daddy a picture and bookmark he had made at nursery, and a card and frame he had chosen with his Mummy. Nan came for tea, and we had such a laugh; little man was helping Wes wash his car, and there was a kink in the hosepipe. Wes fixed it, which meant little one absolutely drenched me and Nan. We had a fun day full of laughter, and then the following day we had a play date with George and Stace. The boys played well together.

The tablets have taken over the last week, causing me to vomit several times and run to the toilet at work, with me hoping that no-one was in there otherwise there would be trouble ahead! They have caused massive fatigue, too. Work has been tough of late, but I continue to turn up each day with a smile and be as cheerful as I can.

On the Thursday I came home from work and Wes had booked our honeymoon (Wedding holiday). Friends had been so generous that we had a nice amount of money, so we decided to treat ourselves. We were weighing up whether to have a holiday with little man or a pure relaxation week; we ended up with the latter, as little man was going away with his Mum. Wes booked for us to go to Cape Verde, 5-star luxury on the Dreamliner (with the help of our friend Hannah). We are both so excited and can’t wait; one whole week together of pure relaxation (we’ve never had a whole week away for just the two of us). I managed to get insurance that was not extortionate (highly recommend ‘Covered2go’).

Before the holiday, we had our next trip to London – another ten-hour day at Harley Street. They collected bloods throughout the day, and we were then back on Friday morning for more bloods. I had a chat with the medical director, who approved for me to remain on the tablets for another four weeks, then I’ll have an echo cardiogram and a CT to see if the tablets are working. We had a lovely meal on the Thursday evening at a Japanese restaurant, and manged to have a laugh even though we were both shattered. 

By Friday evening I had developed a sore throat and a mouth full of ulcers, and found it difficult to eat – so it was an early night, analgesia, and a hope that I felt better in the morning, a new day.

A good night’s sleep and feeling slightly better. My mouth is so sore, but thanks to my kind friend, Janine, I have a soothing spray. Little man came this morning and his huge morning hug is enough to give you multiple powers of energy, even if I did hide down the side of the bed and make him jump high! The laughter at me making him jump is totally contagious. We spent the afternoon with the Guthries. Wes, Russ and Amy were moaning about their colds; I told them to ‘man up.’ Russ said it was better they moaned so it took the emphasis away from me, the nobber! We went to a Funday in the park and rolled down hills, and then followed with pizza.

On Sunday we dropped little man off for his holiday with his Mummy and gave him some Euros to spend. We arrived at the airport without any hassles and had our “hereditary” pint! The Dreamliner was lovely, with extra space, a meal, and TV screen – we were so excited.

When we arrived at Cape Verde, you could feel that instant heat as we walked down the steps of the plane. On arrival at the hotel, a Bellboy took us on a golf buggy with our cases to our amazing room, where we arrived to a message, champagne and chocolates, all thanks to Hannah. The bed was huge; when we showed Chaz, he said to Wes, ‘Bet she still ends up on your side!’ My friend Sharon would have loved it, because although we were ‘All Inclusive’, we did not have to wear wrist bands. The staff were all so happy and all spoke several languages, and the hotel had a dedicated evening where they thanked all the staff and showed their appreciation for the hard work they did (okay, cheesy, but nice).

The beach was just so beautiful, and the sea was a fantastic turquoise colour. I went for an Anti-cellulite Massage; I told Wes to make sure he knew what I was wearing when I went, as once all the cellulite had gone, he might not recognise me… He asked, why, are they giving you hair too?! On a serious note, it is hard after the surgical menopause – the hot sweats etc… I highly recommend the ‘LadyCare Magnet’ (but stay away from big metal objects). ‘Weight’ becomes an issue if you allow it; I am lucky as Wes still fancies me, and still wants to make love to me. If you have a partner, male or female, who does not support you or make you feel good, ask yourself ‘why?’, as we all deserve to be treated with kindness and made to feel special. Back to the massage; it was wonderful, even if I did struggle to get the pants on (wrong holes) and the lady had to help me shower (sometimes I am such a spud). 

Wes ‘video-called’ little man, and that was lovely, and we waited for some pictures of little one on his holiday. We had a trip on a catamaran; it was totally exhilarating, sitting at the back, the sun beating down, the warm breeze and the water splashing us causing so many giggles. Jumping into the clear waters was just beautiful. There was a little boy, aged about 8, who helped take us out on the dingy to the catamaran. I gave him 5 euros – his little face was a picture, and he was so grateful.

We had a section of the beach that was for the hotel guests only, and we spent days dipping in and out of the sea. It was an amazing week of pure fun and relaxation, although it did not go totally cancer free… Unfortunately, I vomited several times (once hanging over the sunbed like a young adult on an 18-30 holiday), and a mouth full of ulcers just to remind me about the cancer whilst I was on holiday… Thankfully I was able to vomit and carry on.

I felt so sad leaving the island. As we left on the coach, about seven staff stood in a row and waved us off. I could feel the emotion building, as I knew it was time to leave and to face the next part of the Cuntcer journey. 

The lovely part of being home was seeing Chaz and little man, who were both really pleased to see us. Wes did some baking with little man and cut his hair. ‘Wes the barber’ – hilarious, but to be fair he did a reasonable job and joked with little man’s Mummy, and told her not to look too closely, and sent her some cakes to take her mind off his haircut (I do hope he grows out of his fear, or Wes needs to go to college).

I was so low this week returning from holiday; my face had broken out in a terrible rash (another side effect of the tablets), 

and I also had a couple of ‘code browns’ (if you are unsure, ask your nursing friends). I totally broke down, and said to Wes, I am not sure if I can cope anymore – no hair, no eyelashes, no eyebrows, and this rash, and not even knowing if the tablets are doing any good… Wes reassured me that I was still the same person and I would get my confidence back, it was just taking time. I had a really good cry, and it took me a few days to feel ready to face the world again. I have creams and gels for my face that are soothing, and it’s not too long to wait for the CT scan to see if it’s working.

On a positive note, I had a relaxed weekend, a meal and catch up with Alina on Friday, a chilled day on Saturday with visits from Mum and Kerry.  And a BBQ on Sunday with the Mansells and little man.